I have a blurry recollectio n of the extraordinary events of the New Years Eve party at The Knight. There were two pretty girls at the pub who I tried, (and failed) to win over with my drunken charm and I think Prockie thumped Chrissy B and I may have snogged Sarah.
I can't believe there were pretty girls in The Knight!
Go to Robs for a New Year drink and he is speaking to me so evidently I'm forgiven.
*
Prock and me start the evening with a game of pool versus Case and Atom in the Kings Head then move to the Green Tree where we chat to Case's missus Lynn and her tasty Aussie mate Kim.
Prock reckons Kim fancies me and says I'm mental for mnot trying to get in her knickers.
Lose 26p to Pete B at Clegg.
*
Perce, Prock, Chrissie B and me are attempting a new record for drinking Holsten Pils in one night and start at the Cross Keys. The talking point in the Head is Charlie Broiwn's impressive black eye courtesy of Tat on New Years Eve. We tactfully don't mention Chrissie's similar fate to Prockie's fisticuffs.)
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The Norman Knight FC hit a new low after 50 minutes of our friendly with Team Pencil. They are trouncing us 7-0 when their manager, Brian Rusher, demands we swap goalies to give his fella some practice. Bloody cheek.
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We have run out of work at work so I find myself playing games with Becky, Jim and Jackie. John disapproves and gives us a lecture on ther fire drill to pass the time.
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As player-manager of The Norman Knight I am alarmed to see my star midfielders Case and Atom on the front page odf the Wally Herald, up for drunk and disorderly charges. Now I know how Sir Matt felt with Bestie.
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Our darts team record a 5-3 victory over Didcot Marlborough club though for all the use I am I may as well stayed home and watched Eastenders. I only go for the grub which tonight is hot roastie spuds. Yum yum.
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Wally Utd are second in the Reading Chronicle Reading & District league and today we beat third placed Earlebourne 4-3.
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Go to Rob & Sarah's for Sunday lunch and I'm attacked by Nicky as soon as I walk in. I push her back onto the sofa and she does a back flip and lets out a loud fart. This is very funny.
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At work I'm sat with Babs and Dopey Denise. Babs is okay except when her Bry stays out till 3 AM and she vents her anger to mankind on me.
Denise is plain dim and has spent two weeks telling us about a caravan her and her hubby are buying but have now reached the realisation that they have nowhere to put it.
*
I have been dropped from the darts team andI have taken the decision like a man, though I may now drop Johnny G from the footy team in revenge. So I stay in and watch Question of Sport and geuss the mystery geust as Kirk Stevens though it turns out to be Norman Whiteside.
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Becky has split up with her Shaun so we take her down the pub to cheer her up. Although a bit chubby Becky is very pretty and I might start fancying her now she is single.
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The new barmaid at The Dolphin is gorgeous.
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The cream of Wallingford society jump into overloaded taxis and head to the White Hart in Benson for Boney's engagement. Caistor has the hump with Lynn as he doesn't like her mate who has got off with Atom and has hair like a crash helmet. There is no sign of Kim the Australian so I assume she's gone back to Australia.
*
I wake up Sunday morning to a hefty thud thud from downstairs. Go to investigate and discover the parents doing a Jane Fonda work out video.
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I've booked a Summer holiday in Tunisia with Perce, Prock, Melve and Spackers. When I cheerfully tell my workmates I am treated to a lecture from John about diseases of North Africa.
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Unquestionably the most exciting day of my working life so far. After three and a half years dispensing white cups the drinks machine has suddenly, without warning, produced beige cups.
Before the excitement has a chance to die down we are, without explanation, issued with green pens.
Dopey Denise has an imaginary friend she calla George.
*
Becky has told me she thinks I'm lovely so why don't I ask her out? I don't know. Actually I do. I'm worried she might not mean it and might be taking the piss and although I know I should at least find out I am terrified of being rejected.
*
Fuzz is back on the scene. Fuzz is a great lad but can't hold his drink and after five Holsten Pils into our Cholsey pub crawl he is chucking up in the Chequers lav. Two Pils later he's doing the same in the Red Lion.
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There is heated debate at the pub on Sunday lunchtime over plans to b uild the Channel Tunnel (or Chunnel) It seems no one wants it except Thatcher. They could model it on her gob.
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Liz and Babs have different ideas how the share system should work. John selects Babs method so Liz bursts into tears. Being the man of his conviction that he is John instantly changes to Liz'z way.
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Liz and cathy aren't talking to Babs and Babs isn't talking to Liz and Cathy. Dopey Denise isn't talking to Liz and Cathy but only when Babs is about. Mike and I declare ourselves neutral but no one gives a shit.
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Thye atomosphere on our section is extremely frosty though working with these girls does have advantages. Young Jo has the most fantastic tits you could hope to see, (and I do hope to see!)
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Melve joins Perce, Prock and me for wight training. He does a fraction of our weights and then throws up.
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