Nan has fallen ill so mum and dasd rush to Rayleigh to be by her side.
I'm left to fend for myself so I have Marks & Spencer Indian Style Chicken Breasts which look great on the packet but taste like shit.
*
Nan has a massive stroke and dies.
I go to Rob and Sarah's for chilli con carne then over the ABM social club then back to robs for cheese sandwiches and to watch Errol Bomber Graham take the European middle weight title.
*
I have been reinstated into the darts team and repay the faith by scoring a 140 though with my next throw I get 7 and go on to lose.
*
We gather in Southend crematorium for nan's funeral though I don't think granddad knows what's going on because when mum sobs he keeps asking her what's wrong.
Back at the house granddad adopts Fred's jacket and loses the car keys which turn up on his dressing table. Because he can't look after himself granddad is coming to live with us and I think life will never be the same again.
*
Granddad's room has sliding doors but he doesn't realise this so he rattles them furiously as he tries to escape at 6 AM this morning.
*
I am passing the time spinning a 5p on my desk when John joins me and explains if the 5p were a Venetion Ducat then this is the process that prompted Galileo to discover the rules concerning the precision of the Equinox. It seems I can't be bored in peace.
*
The two Jackies have been given P2 promotions and Jim and me haven't so we spend the afternoon in a sulk and reading job ads in the Evening Post.
It is later announced Babs is moving to A division and I'm getting Jackie O as my P2 so I stop looking in the job ads because Jackie O is gorgeous.
*
Perce, Prock, Fuzz., Symsie and me attend the Valentines disco at the Plough but for a Valentine's disco there is an alarming shortage of girls. Fortunately Lynne M is pissed up and her Geoff is in The Alps so we take turns dancing with her.
*
I have to baby sit granddad as mum and dad have gone out for a meal. He spends the whole evening looking for the Bingo numbers in the Daily Telegraph so he's no trouble.
*
Perce and I take on a pair of Premier division players in the Oxfordshire darts pairs and against all odds we win and are through to mthe last 32.
*
I liked Babs but Jackie O is a breath of fresh air. She is always smiley and has a figure like Marilyn
Monroe.
*
This is hilarious; Dopey Denise thought bher husband had bought her a video recorder for her birthday but it turns out he has bought her the first two months rental for it.
*
Our darts match against Didcot Power Station is down to the last leg of the last game and I just need 32 to win as a deathly hush descends. I chuck the dart and it pierces into the double sixteen, the crowd go wild and I'm the hero!
*
Mum, dad and granddad have gone back to Rayleigh to tidy up so I have the perfect Friday night in. A few cans of lager, a packet of Hamlet and the first in the new series of Auf Weidersein Pet.
*
Prock has injured his back playing cards and the rest of us take the piss by throwing coins at his feet. Ever rescurceful, Prock sticks his chewing gum on the end of a pool queue and collects the money thus.
Later in The Head there is a fight between Frankie T and one of Chrissie B's RAF pals which is as frightening as an Enid Blyton novel.
*
Have Sunday lunch at Rob and Sarah's and young Nicky prefers to eat her own bogeys. It's good they encourage her to eat her greens.
*
I am sat at work happily dreaming about Jackie's breasts when a slanging match erupts between Liz and John. Liz says it's no surprise everyone wants to leave his section and John responds that he wishes she would so Liz bursts into tears.
What a laugh.
*
Every day granddad asks where I work and what I do and now he keeps asking me where Else, (nan) is.
*
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