So this is it. Freezing, skint, bored, failing in ever plausible aspect of humanitarian life?

Is this what i have amounted too?

After the shennanigans that were halloween, 'he' was removed from my life in a necessary fashion. Now i dont pretend to ignore the fact that, yes, it was long overdue but still the fallback neccessity of it was the single factor which kept my mind from intermingling with the unbearable truth. And lets face it Lonelyness is something every self respecting person trys to avoid.  The frame of mind which seems to settle all around me like a dark blanket in the midnight hour is oppressing even the highest spirited thoughts in my mind.  Nothing is turning my black to white.  I feel like a fairy: a figment of someones imagination that is make-believe, little things that storybooks are based on, innocent and naive with no where to go and no one to talk to. For that my smiles have been eradicated

Until the storm has calmed....Chardonnay x x