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I for one have a habit off messing up ALL the time by acting first, thinking later. I let my heart do the talking and my head think "SHIT" 10 seconds later!!! Sometimes i really do think i was born a dickhead!! I let my lovelife rule my life. i have a consent need to be attached to someone and a desprept need to be loved and have a habit off constently choosing the wrong men. This past year alone ive been linked too 9 different men. Only two off which i have fallen for but both not entirly resipucated (i know i cant spell)
Firstly *mr moobs, who's pick up line in a que for the toilets in a night club was....having trouble with your love life missy ( i knew him through muturel friends , therefore was on my facebook friends list) who eventully dumped me for a women with a 4year old child and works as a stripper.....in Hasting. I'll blog about him another time.
Then theirs *mr perfect pecs, my most recent man
i met pp (for short) through a friend on facebook. I had littrelly just moved to sw london 3 days before he added me on facebook. the day he added me i had just been dumped by Mr Moobs for this stripper, when crying my eyes out i logged on to facebook to block him off my friends list. when i noticed i had a friends request. from PP.
i click on the name and up popped a pic off a bloke on holiday standing on a boat with the most fantastic body i have ever seen. i noticed he was muteraly friends with two off my drinking buddies so i thought perhaps i met him on a night out but was to drunk to remember.
So i send a message , still crying my eyes out at this point asking " Hi have i met u out drinking when out with rachel & emma? forgive me but i have a terrable memory" His reply
":-) if im honest no...but i wish 2 complain 2 god, queen liz and gordon brown that we have not! :-) ps can u phone the police, im hiding from barrymore! x "
which instently had my in fits off laughter!!
We then exchanged a few messages before i gave him my number. we endded up talking on the phone for 3 hours 4 days in a row getting on like a house on fire. Mr Moobs instently forgotten.
however his ex was back on the scean and after 4 weeks off dating i broke it off and he got back with ex.
but because we came such good friends he text me everyday still with him finally admitting he misses me, so we start a 3month affair with us getting closer.
we had dates out to the thearter and go to museams around london which we called geek days.
Share jokes that no one would get, people would stare at us and you could tell that people were looking at us like they knew we was in love.
We would call each other best friends and said it weird we never been in situations where we had , had lovers that got on well as such good friends as well as being lovers.
we would speak for hours on the phone & snuggle on the sofa just staring at each other and making cutesy giggling noises , holding each other tightly.
He said he wished he met me 6 weeks earlier before his ex come back on the sceane as we would be together now & was confussed as he was in love with two people. the more he said it the more i pinned for him. so i started to get damanding off him telling his gotta make his mind up.
he would tell me he could see us getting married and having kids together , which made it worse as it was like mental toutour as i wanted to have that life with him so badly.
so thats when i become a demented bunny boiler bombanding him with texts saying how much i miss him, wanna be with him, leave his girlfriend, just constant all day with him starting to ignore me.
but when he did text he would just say his conffessed & needs space to think, but i would keep texting because i knew he would still be talking to his girlfriend which made me green!!
he would text me saying your amazing and i think the world off you so i couldnt understand in my head why he couldnt just leave her.
so thursday stupidly i messaged her to tell her everything, thinking if she knew and it was in the open PP would be forced to leave her and be with me....BIG mistake.
he rang me saying i forced him away and closer to his girlfriend and that he was on his way to finish it with her when i sent the message and now he cant as i have upset her, her sister and mum.
but i shouldnt apologise as its him that created the mess.
But then sat i got angry as he was ignoring me again after only the week before when i asked him to leave his girlfriend he was crying in my arms saying he loved me over & over again. just be patient. but surely if you love someone you would want to be with them wouldnt you??
so anyway saturday after getting drunk on halloween i noticed him and her were still listed as an item. so i hit the roof text her calling her a mug for staying with him and that shes in denel. his been telling me he cares for me and is in love with me so why is she so insecure to stand by him!!
then messaging him saying his a coward using her being insecure as an excuse not to end it.
sunday he rings me telling me that his fed up off me hurting *penny and that shes the innocent victim in this ...true granted. he cant help it if his hurt me its just life !!!
so theres me crying my eyes out because my obbsesivness off wanting to be with him and have all thoses things we talked about runied because i couldnt be patient and got greedy wanting it right now!!!
sometime i wish texting and facebook wasnt invented there just to easy to ruin thing beacuse you can have a thought in your head then think you know what im getting that off my chest, but then it becomes bombarding where you come across as despraret! as for facebook im constently checking to see if they've endded things!!
im destined to be a piss stainted cat women, i know i am!!!
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